Is the Self Sado-Masochistic?

Am starting to wonder if the whole Universe is a bit sado-masochistic..

..because the suffering inherent in living seems so cruel at times, and yet, there is a kind of pleasure that comes from growing through it..

..and if panentheism and nonduality are correct, and all of existence really is One substance manifested in various form..

..then this One Thing has chosen/willed the simultaneity of suffering and joy to happen to ItSelf again and again, in endless combination..

Indeed, I wonder.