Life Musings, Spiritual Musings

No Knight in Shining Armor

If you’ve followed this blog since the beginning, then you’ll know that I used to have quite a thing for knights in shining armor.  I often found myself falling for people – especially men – who could swoop in and take care of all my little problems.  Exhibit A can still be found here, even though I’ve fought the urge to delete this post and thereby remove all evidence of past codependent tendencies.

Therapy, introspection, and a fantastic book on overcoming abandonment issues helped me uncover the roots of my attraction to men who could fix my life — deal with car stuff, lift heavy objects, make phone calls I didn’t want to make and generally do things I was too lazy, insecure or spoiled-brattish to do myself. Continue reading “No Knight in Shining Armor”

Academic Musings, Life Musings, Spiritual Musings

My News

Last fall, I participated in the unbelievably fantastic Faculty Success Program, organized by the National Center for Faculty Development and Diversity. FSP was developed by Dr. Kerry-Ann Rockquemore, a brilliant sociologist who quit her tenured job to commit herself full-time to the NCFDD and, in so doing, provide life-changing tools to harried professors seeking to improve their productivity and work/life balance. While the center works to support academics of all stripes, its resources and programs are particularly useful to first generation academics, women and people of color — all of whom are often excluded from informal networks and know-how that are crucial for thriving in academia.

A friend of mine participated last year and told me that FSP changed her life.  She felt more productive, linked into to professional networks and focused on her research and writing goals.  On the basis of her testimonial – as well as the experiences of other colleagues I know and respect – I wrote a grant to fund my participation in their semester-long “bootcamp” for academics.  I knew I would not be teaching in the fall and was hopeful that the program’s structure, systems of accountability and professional development tools would help me make the most of my “time off”.  Continue reading “My News”

Spiritual Musings

Missed Opportunities

How many times do you have to experience synchronicity to understand that there is no such thing as a missed opportunity?

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If one moment is synchronistic, then every moment is synchronistic.

 

Synchronicity is not a thing that occurs in some places, at certain times – but not others.

 

Synchronicity is the way things are, the way they have always been.

 

This entire universe is synchronicity unfolding.

 

Have you noticed?

 

Life Musings, Spiritual Musings

God Unfolding

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There’s a fearlessness that comes from surviving heartache.

You realize that if it hurts, it simply means it doesn’t fit.

There are no bad guys.  No blame.

Just the knowledge — the hard-won, heart-breaking knowledge –

That you are not meant to be.

With wisdom, practice and determination,

You learn to let it go and keep it moving.

You thank God when someone runs away,

Because you know the right one will meet you right where you are,

Open-hearted.

There’s this thing that happens when you realize

on a bone-deep level – that your whole life – including your love life –

is simply God unfolding.

There’s no way to get this thing wrong.  There’s no strategy.  No technique.

It’s just God unfolding. God unfolding. God unfolding.

No need to second guess anything —

or to wonder what lies around the bend.

And when you wonder anyway, you remember:

It’s just God unfolding. God unfolding. God unfolding.

I have nothing to do with it.

In this moment, you enjoy the magnetism of a deepening connection..

A beautiful mystery.. watching the flower of it all unfurl..

With no idea what happens next..

You notice joy in the face of uncertainty.

An electric current you cannot explain.

Bemusement where anxiety used to live.

You realize that you literally have nothing to lose.

* * *

It’s nice to dream.. but know that you are dreaming..

To smile at your own projections.. eyes wide open..

* * *

Grounded, always – and effortlessly – in the beauty of your own becoming,

You allow.

You witness.

You laugh, sometimes through tears,

Thanking God for giving Herself to You..

..again and again..

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