Life Musings

My First Non-Fucked Up Partnered Valentines

In the past, most of my Valentines days have pretty much been disasters. The worst Valentines were actually the ones when I found myself in a relationship. For one reason or another, our best laid plans always turned out to a be a bust. Expectations were unfulfilled. Hopes were dashed. Drama ensued. More often than not, my then-lovers and I would end the day in passive-aggressive anger rather than the throes of passion.

The best V-days for me have been the ones I’ve spent alone.. focusing on self-care, meditating, sipping on champagne, getting my nails done and sobbing uncontrollably while watching old epis of Grey’s Anatomy.  So it was not without some trepidation that I noted February 14th fast a-coming, and wondered if this might be my first-ever boo’ed up Valentines that was not an epic fail.

“Your job,” I joked with my girlfriend recently, “is to not fuck up Valentines.” If we just made it through the day without any cray, we’d be making history. From prior experience, I’d learned that projection-fueled expectations were the enemy of intimacy.  We talked at length about how we each experienced disappointment in Valentines past, and how we thought we’d avoid such scenarios this time around.  Part of our approach was making light of the whole thing.  Valentines? Whatevs!  We were too evolved, too emotionally mature to buy into an arbitrary, commercialized holiday. Continue reading “My First Non-Fucked Up Partnered Valentines”