Conversations With 5 Year Olds


Snippets from Avi and Noah, referred to here as “FYO” (five year old):

* * *

FYO: “Hey, you see this television? It used to be in here.” (FYO points to a cardboard box. I notice that the box, synchronistically, says “Black Crystal” in its product description.)

Me: “This is pretty cool. You see this says “Crystal”. That’s my name. And it says “Black Crystal”, which is even more awesome, because I’m Black. I am a Black Crystal!”

FYO: (pause) “Actually . . . I think you’re brown?” He raises his eyebrow and shrugs.

Me: “Yes, this is true–”

FYO: “But, there are people who are actually black.” I furrow my brow, wondering what he means by that, but I let it slide.

Me: “What about you?” I take his tiny hand. “I can’t tell what color you are. Maybe peach?”

FYO: “Actually, I’m Jewish.”

Me: “Jewish isn’t a color.”

FYO: “I know.”

* * *

FYO: “Show me your breasts!”

Me: “No.”

(a few minutes later)

FYO: “Your breath smells really bad!”

Me: “I know. I have dragon breath.”

* * *

Me: “This is magic.” (referring to my iPad)

FYO: “You are magic!”

* * *

Me: Throw me a cracker.

(FYO throws cracker. Cracker falls on the ground.)

FYO: “Maybe that wasn’t a good idea.”

* * *

FYO: “I don’t want people to see me like this!!” (said to his mother at the beach when she pulled off his pants so he could change into his swim trunks)

* * *

Me: “Look at the ducks. Aren’t they cute? The ducks are like your brothers. Be nice to them. Love them.”

FYO: “Yeah they are cute, but I don’t have that many brothers.”

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