Life Musings

How to Date Slowly — In 50 Easy Steps!

One of my life projects is learning how to date slowly. I talk about it in therapy.  I talk about it with friends.  I talk about it with family.  I talk about it with people I’m romantically interested in. I read about it.   I reflect.  I practice. I meet people.   We date.  It’s not exactly slow, but it’s half a pace slower than the time before.  I make more mistakes.  I have fun.  I suffer.  I review lessons learned, brush off my shoulders, lick my wounds and begin again.

An excellent book on how to do this, practically, is “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk” by John Van Epp.  I confess that I did not buy this book in order to learn how to date slowly.  I bought this book in order to learn how to avoid falling in love with jerks.  And, whadya know, it so happens that these two themes are inextricably intertwined.

Not fall in love w jerk

Continue reading “How to Date Slowly — In 50 Easy Steps!”

Vegan Recipes

Grilled Tofurkey Sandwich w/ Chipotle-Fried Potatoes & Baby Bok Choy (V)

Photo Oct 11, 7 44 26 PM

This poor blog is feeling awfully neglected with the constraints of my work load and schedule.  All I have time to post are 1-line spiritual musings and vegan food porn.

In lieu of a real update, let me just say the following: 1) I’m incredibly happy in this moment 2) Some really exciting, beautiful things are flowering in my work and personal lives right now 3) I am so grateful for the friends, mentors and connections that are breathing synchronicity and joy into my everyday and 4) I’ve found my life’s purpose.  No fucking kidding. My life’s purpose.  No time to tell you about it now, but we’ll chat about it soon.  I promise.  Now back to food.

* * *

The thing I like about posting the the vegan sorta-kinda-recipes is that although they may be merely impressionistic descriptions – rather than the full-on step-by-step instructions you might be accustomed to on a food blog – they do convey 1) the sheer beauty of the meals 2) some creative ideas about how to have your delicious, healthy cake and eat it too and 3) a certain veganish je ne sais quoi.

Truly though, the reason I still share some of my meals is that I really fuckin’ love cooking.  It’s something I stopped doing for a while — between travel and work stress and laziness, I fell off the vegan wagon . . . But now that I’m back on, cooking has brought more balance, artistry and health into my life.  I gained no less than 10 lbs over the last few months from eating out so much and so often (and my goodness.. I consumed some really delicious food).  Now I’m in the kitchen again and getting back into the rhythm of living an active life.  Hot yoga, cardio boot camp and the elliptical are regular visitors on my weekly calendar.

Tonight’s epic vegan masterpiece was absofuckinlutely amazing.  Pretty easy too.

Grilled Tofurkey Sandwich with Chipotle-Fried Potatoes & Baby Bok Choy


– Hoagie spread (you know, the jar of peppers)

– Vegan mayonnaise

– Whole wheat bread

– Tofurkey links of your choice

– 1/2 red onion

– 2 potatoes

– 1 clove of fresh garlic

– 1/2 chipotle pepper (de-seeded)


– salt and pepper

– herbes de provence

– 1 baby bok choy (chopped, grilled and marinated)

– ketchup

– hot sauce


  1. Slice potatoes, onion, chipotle and garlic
  2. Cut Tofurkey links lengthwise, then again through the middle, to create 8 smaller links
  3. Heat 2 tablespoons of EVOO in a large skillet
  4. Grill Tofurkey for about 5 minutes (turn)
  5. Toss in potatoes, onions, chipotle and garlic – cook until nicely browned
  6. Meanwhile, chop and grill your bok choy in another skillet (I confess I bought mine pre-made and marinated from my favorite Thai restaurant)
  7. Remove Tofurkey from skillet, set aside
  8. Add bok choy to the potato/onion mixture
  9. Reduce heat
  10. In another skillet (are we up to three now?) – heat one tablespoon of EVOO and 2 tablespoons of herbes de provence. Add whole wheat bread and toast (turn so both sides are grilled)
  11. To make the vegan sandwich spread: In a bowl, mix 3 tablespoons of vegan mayonnaise with as many tablespoons of hoagie spread (peppers) as your stomach can handle
  12. When your bread is toasted, dress one slice with the vegan sandwich spread, layer with tofurkey and drizzle with ketchup
  13. Serve the potato/bok choy mix on the side
  14. If you are from the south: Garnish with ketchup and hot sauce
Food, Vegan Recipes

Sauteed Spinach & Stewed Yams Over Rainbow Quinoa (V, GF)


Part of my self care regimen on the tenure track is scheduling time to cook healthy, nutrutious vegan meals on Sundays. During the week, I regularly work between 9-12 hours a day on research and writing projects, which means I have very little energy left over to cook .. and getting takeout every night isn’t an option unless I want to gain a million pounds.

So…. Here’s one of two delicious meals I made today:

Take a yam. Peel it. Chop it up and boil it.

Meanwhile: bring 1 cup of rainbow quinoa to boil in 2 cups of water. I toss in a cube of vegetable buillion. Reduce to simmer for 20 minutes. Set aside.

When the yam is tender, strain and set aside. In a small saucepan, combine 1 tablespoon of EVOO with 1/4 cup of almond milk. Stir in yams, drizzle with agave and sprinkle with nutmeg and cinnamon.  Stir in 3 large handfuls of spinach and a dash of salt. Optional: sautee the spinach with fresh garlic before adding to the yams.

Spoon the yam/spinach mixture over the quinoa. Savor.


Spiritual Musings

Is the Self Sado-Masochistic?

Am starting to wonder if the whole Universe is a bit sado-masochistic..

..because the suffering inherent in living seems so cruel at times, and yet, there is a kind of pleasure that comes from growing through it..

..and if panentheism and nonduality are correct, and all of existence really is One substance manifested in various form..

..then this One Thing has chosen/willed the simultaneity of suffering and joy to happen to ItSelf again and again, in endless combination..

Indeed, I wonder.